Prodigal

Wasteful; reckless with money (adj.)

A group of twenty-somethings stand in a circle somewhere during happy hour.
"Alright, I have one," one of them says.
"Okay," everyone put their beers down, turning toward him.
"So I was at this bar in San Diego at someone's birthday party or something, and I had had a few shots and beers and I had to go the bathroom and there was this long-ass line."
"Classic," someone says.
"Shut up," he says.
"Okay, okay let him finish," someone else says.
"Thank you. So it's like ten minutes and I get to the john and I gotta do a number two so I pull my pants down and let it rip."
"Hah! Number two!" someone yells.
"Is this going anywhere?" someone else asks.
"Yeah, just, hold on, so I'm sitting there and it's a big one, right, and I look over and there's no toilet paper. I reach down into my pants, I don't even think about it, and I get a single from my wallet and I wipe my ass with it."
"No," someone says.
"Yeah," he responds, nodding.
"You didn't."
"Totally did," he leans forward, "and I was damn glad I had gotten some change."
There's some laughter at this. The group takes a collective sip of beer and everyone looks around, not knowing what to say next. Some of them have their hands in their pockets. One of them orders more beers.
"So what'd you do with it?" someone asks.
"Yeah, what'd you do with it?" some else echoes.
"With what?"
"The shit bill?"
He takes a sip of his beer, rests the glass on the table.
"Tip," he says.