Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Extrude

To push out or force (v.)

Maggie was one of the girls who sat at the table near the windows of the cafeteria, huddled with a group of the boys that smoked and drank and stayed out late, which somehow made them cool. Maggie, because these cool guys found her attractive, was orbited into the group her freshman year when they caught sight of her blond hair and trim legs. They showed an interest in her. And to little Maggie from middle school this was a blessing, a gift. To be a part of something, to have older boys like you, give you rides to school, call you and invite you out was like running around with the gods. Which is what it felt like to her: the parties in dark basements, in the backseats of parents' cars, the fuzzy numbness and adult sting of illegal liquor, the tongues of the boys warm in her mouth, their whispers and breath on her face--this all became normal, the usual godly galavants. She lied to her parents, like the boys told her to, and she wore skimpy little outfits that she would let them take off of her in their cars and at their parties. Each new step in their world was a logical progression from the last until the floor became the ceiling, which was the only thing she saw when they were having their way with her.
When she got pregnant sophomore year, she told the boy she thought was responsible when they were sitting together at the table near the windows in the cafeteria. The next day none of them would talk to her. They wouldn't even look at her. When she approached, they saw her in their periphery and moved away, forming a wall with their broad shoulders. The other girls, the other members of the harem she had once belonged to, began giggling at her and saying strange, snide, and sarcastic things to her, the meanings of which she couldn't comprehend.
When her parents found out they had a similar look on their faces. They shook their heads and at each other and wondered out loud what had happened to their little Maggie from middle school. They decided that she should have the baby and that it would be given up for adoption. And when Maggie was in the last throws of labor and the nurses were telling her to push harder she couldn't help thinking about the boys at the table near the windows in the cafeteria, the way they turned away from her after forcing her out of her childhood.
She screamed as she heaved, and was only silent after she heard the cry of the new life that had been extruded out of her.

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