Saturday, May 26, 2007

Obviate

To make unnecessary, get rid of (v.)

"I think we waste waste," said Dr. Togore.
"But why is your project, which is frankly extremely undeveloped in this proposal, worth funding?" asked a council member.
"I believe the project is worth funding because I'm positive there is material that be harnassed in garbage and shit and all that to make energy. Imagine it! A perpetual motion system of energy. We could do it. I just need the money."
Togore scratched the back of his right ear incessantly, causing his over-sized plastic bifocals to shake and little flakes of dandruff to fall from his red scalp.
"The National Endowment for the Sciences does not carelessly fund projects without significant data or confirmation, or..."
"But look," Togore said, "how do I get data to show you what I'm talking about if I don't have any money for research? That doesn't make much sense, does it?"
"Mr. Togore--"
"Doctor Togore," he said, scratching his ear.
"Yes, Dr. Togore, are you part of a faculty at a university?"
"No," he said.
"Are you a researcher with a laboratory of any kind?"
"No," he said, "unless you count my basement, where I've already completed some promising experiments."
"Your basement."
"Yes, I've found a transition molecule that can be made from all sorts of waste, and can then be made into a clean-burning fuel. My water heater at home uses it. People could put it in their cars. It'd be like Back to the Future, you know? It would totally obviate the entire trash bag, disposal, garbage truck, garbage dump process. And I've been reading the numbers: you guys have shit coming out of your ears in this city. It's gonna start coming out of faucets soon if you don't..."
"We recognize the severity of the problem Mister Togore, and we have read your proposal and found that it is unsuitable for funding."
"Unsuitable?" Togore said, banging the table and standing, "how could you waste such a viable opportunity here? I'm telling I have the..."
Togore stood up, a big beer belly exposed beneath his t-shirt, and approached the bench of council members to speak with them face to face. The men and women turned to each other and the head council member said, nevously,
"Mister Togore, this is highly inappropriate, please leave immediately or we will be forced to remove..."
"Doctor," Togore said, standing in front of them, fists tightly clenched.

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